The phrase “Slava Ukraini!” (Glory to Ukraine!) had its origins during the Ukrainian War of Independence (from 1917 to 1921). It became part of the lexicon of Ukrainian nationalists in the 1920s and 1930s.
On 31 December 2015 Ukraine’s public debt stood at 79% of its GDP. It had shrank $4.324 billion in 2015 to end up at $65.488 billion. But calculated in hryvnia the debthad grown 42.78%. In 2015 the Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine rated 20-25% of Ukrainian households as poor.
Ukraine Election
Title: “No Trump Cards for Zelensky”
(Scene: A luxury golf course at Mar-a-Lago. Donald Trump is sipping a Diet Coke, while Zelensky, in his signature olive-green military T-shirt, looks around, bewildered.)
Trump:
Volodymyr, my guy! Welcome to Mar-a-Lago, the greatest resort in the world. I’d offer you a Trump Steak, but I hear you’re more of a “bread and salt” kind of guy. Very peasant. Very traditional.
Zelensky:
Thank you, Donald. I appreciate the invite, but I must say, I was expecting a serious discussion. My country is at war!
Trump:
War, shmwar! Look, I know war. I was in a battle too—many battles, in fact! Did you see how I took on Rosie O’Donnell? Brutal. Worst war I’ve ever seen.
Zelensky:
With all due respect, Mr. Trump, that is not quite the same.
Trump:
People tell me I should be the one helping you, Zelensky. They say, “Donald, you have all the best cards.” You? You’ve got no Trump cards! How are you going to win a war with no Trump cards? You can’t even win at poker!
Zelensky:
Yes, I have no Trump cards, but I do have some ace allies.
Trump:
Ace allies? Fake news! I had allies too, and then they all betrayed me. Mike Pence—total Judas. I was like Jesus at the Last Supper, only much richer.
Zelensky:
If you are Jesus, then I am certainly not Christ!
Trump:
Of course not! If you were Christ, you’d be performing miracles, like making your military funding appear without begging Congress. But noooo, you come here like Oliver Twist—“Please, sir, may I have some more?” Weak!
Zelensky:
And you, Donald? If you are so powerful, why did you lose the election?
Trump:
Excuse me, I didn’t lose. It was stolen. Like Crimea. You know how that feels, right?
Zelensky:
Yes, but I fight for my country. You fight for… what exactly?
Trump:
For my people! My people are suffering too, Zelensky. Imagine being me—worth billions but can’t even get a loan because of “political persecution.” Unfair! Maybe I should ask Biden for aid like you do. But I have something you don’t…
Zelensky:
A secret weapon?
Trump:
No, a Trump card! And guess what? I always keep one up my sleeve.
(Trump dramatically pulls out a gold-plated card with his face on it.)
Zelensky:
Ah, yes, your famous Trump card. And what does it do?
Trump:
It gets me out of trouble every time! You should get one—it might help with your problems.
Zelensky:
Can it stop missiles?
Trump:
No, but it can stop CNN from being mean to you. Almost.
Zelensky:
So, you are saying I cannot be the Christ because I have no Trump cards?
Trump:
Exactly! No Trump cards, no miracles, no presidency in 2024. I mean, I should know!
(Trump winks, while Zelensky sighs and looks for an exit. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani appears in the background, holding a golf club like a sword.)
Giuliani:
Donald, the deep state is watching!
Trump:
Rudy, relax. We’re just two world leaders, having a totally normal, very important, very bigly conversation.
Zelensky:
And what have I learned today? If you have no Trump cards, you are not the Christ.
Trump:
Bingo! Now, let’s talk business. How do you feel about a new reality show—Ukraine’s Got Talent? I’ll produce, you’ll host. We’ll make billions.
Zelensky:
I think I prefer fighting the war.
(They both laugh. The camera fades to black as Rudy accidentally swings the golf club at a sand trap, declaring it voter fraud.)
THE END.
Title: “No Trump Cards at The Hague: Why Trump and Zelensky Belong in the Dock”
By Nadya Riot
(Scene: A grand lecture hall. Nadya Riot, dressed in all black, adjusts her microphone. Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky are seated in the front row, both looking increasingly uncomfortable. The audience is a mix of students, journalists, and a few confused tourists who wandered in.)
Nadya Riot:
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed professors, and to the two men in the front row who should already be packing their bags for The Hague—Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky—I present my thesis: “Why These Two Should Be Tried Like the Croats.”
(Trump adjusts his tie and whispers to Zelensky: “Is she talking about Croissants? I love Croissants.”)
Nadya Riot:
Let’s begin with the obvious: war crimes. The Croats were tried in The Hague for their role in the Balkan Wars—brutal conflicts that saw nationalist leaders push their people into senseless bloodshed. And what do we see today?
Zelensky, the “comedian-turned-commander,” has turned Ukraine into a NATO puppet state, stretching a war for profit, while his people suffer.
Trump, the “businessman-turned-buffoon,” escalated conflicts with drone strikes, armed Saudi Arabia, and nearly started World War III over Twitter.
Now, you might ask—“But Nadya, are they really war criminals?”
Trump:
Exactly! I’m a businessman, not a criminal! Except for taxes—very tricky business, taxes.
Zelensky:
I am defending my country. Surely, I am no criminal!
Nadya Riot:
Ah, but the Croats said the same thing! Let’s look at the charges:
Charge 1: Prolonging War for Profit
Zelensky, how long have you stretched this war? You could have negotiated! But no—more billions, more weapons, more blood. And Trump? You armed Ukraine, let them fight your proxy war, then left them hanging. Classic.
Charge 2: Crimes Against Truth
Trump, you lied about everything—elections, wars, even crowd sizes. You made disinformation an art form. Zelensky, you’re no saint either. You banned opposition parties, silenced journalists, and turned democracy into a Netflix series.
Charge 3: Playing the Messiah Card
Zelensky, your PR machine wants us to think you’re some holy warrior, a “David vs. Goliath” figure. But tell me—where’s the miracle? Because all I see is the IMF taking over Ukraine. And Trump, you literally compared yourself to Jesus. Spoiler alert: Christ is coming for you, but not to save you.
(Trump shifts uncomfortably, whispering to Zelensky: “I don’t like this Christ guy she keeps bringing up. Sounds like a deep-state hitman.”)
Nadya Riot:
And that brings us to The Hague. Because that’s where Christ will send you.
Trump, for treating the world like a Monopoly board.
Zelensky, for playing a war like it’s Game of Thrones.
The Croats were tried for less. You two? Your time is coming.
(She slams her book shut. The room falls silent. Trump and Zelensky exchange nervous glances.)
Trump:
Okay, but let’s be real—if we go to The Hague, can we at least get good lawyers? Like O.J.’s lawyers?
Zelensky:
Do they accept PayPal?
Nadya Riot:
No Trump cards, no get-out-of-jail-free cards. Only justice.
(Fade to black as security escorts Trump and Zelensky out, while the audience cheers.)
Scene: A dank war-room in Kyiv, evening. Maps, monitors, and a muted live stream of the UN assembly flicker in the background.
Nadya Riot (leaning forward, contempt in her eyes):
“Speech after speech. You stand before the world and speak of drones, of arms races — yet every time bombs fall, civilians die. Where is your accountability, Volodymyr?”
Zelensky (voice strained, almost pleading):
“Let me speak, damn you. I am not a war criminal. Please—watch my UN speech.”
He presses a button on the console; his image appears on the muted screen, frozen mid-sentence. He switches the feed on.
Zelensky (on screen, his recorded voice echoing across the room):
“We are living through the most destructive arms race in human history … weapons decide who survives. There are no security guarantees except friends and weapons.”
Reuters
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President.gov.ua
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1News
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“Putin will keep driving the war forward — wider and deeper. Ukraine is only the first. Russian drones are already flying across Europe.”
Reuters
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1News
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President.gov.ua
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“If it takes weapons to do it, if it takes pressure on Russia — then it must be done. And it must be done now.”
President.gov.ua
“Stopping Russia now is cheaper than wondering who will be the first to create a simple drone carrying a nuclear warhead.”
Reuters
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President.gov.ua
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“We must use everything we have — together — to force the aggressor to stop … Only then do we have a real chance that this arms race will not end in catastrophe for all of us.”
President.gov.ua
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AP News
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Zelensky (turning from the screen, voice raw):
“You ask about accountability. I answer you now with truth. I did not start this war. I stand here, fighting its expansion, warning the world: this is not just Ukraine’s fight — it’s Europe’s, it’s humanity’s.”
Nadya Riot (bitterly):
“Your threat of drones, of expansion — are you confessing to preemptive violence? Using weapons to force peace? That is how war criminals speak.”
Zelensky (leaning in, eyes burning):
“No. I speak of defense, of survival. I call upon alliances and global rules — we asked for regulation over AI, over autonomous weapons. I did not invent them, but you think I should stand idle as they proliferate?”
He gestures to the screens.
“I pleaded at the UN: ‘There are no security guarantees except friends and weapons.’ If you call that a crime, then the world is blind. But I will not silence myself — I will not let fear become the language of surrender.”
Nadya Riot (softening, voice low):
“You demand the world see you. But to see you clearly, one must also see the casualties, the choices made behind decision-lines. Will you answer for those?”
Zelensky (voice breaking, but firm):
“Yes. I will answer. To every mother, to every child. But I will also demand that the world answer — will you allow aggression unchecked? Will you let weapons decide who lives and who dies? I came to the UN not to absolve myself, but to call on you not to stay silent.”
A heavy silence follows. The distant echo of air-raid sirens underscores the stakes, as Nadya Riot stares at him — challenge and condemnation in her eyes.
INT. WAR ROOM – NIGHT
The table is a giant chessboard projection. Trump leans back, smirking at his golden knight piece. Zelensky stares at his pawns, weary but stubborn.
SOLID SNAKE steps out of the shadows, his voice low and rasping, cutting through the silence.
SNAKE
Why do you two play like amateurs? You’ve got the queen sitting right in front of you—and you pretend she doesn’t exist.
(He slams a pawn down, advancing it across the holographic board. It morphs into a queen—NADYA RIOT’s face glowing defiantly.)
SNAKE (CONT’D)
Nadya Riot. The most powerful piece on this board. She can move in any direction, cut through every line, strike where no one expects. If I were in command, I’d march her pawn to the end of the board and crown her—President of Russia.
Zelensky and Trump exchange wary glances.
TRUMP
(crossing his arms)
Snake, a woman like that? Too unpredictable. Nobody can control her.
ZELENSKY
(sighs)
And that is exactly why Moscow fears her. If she rises, no man—oligarch or general—can cage her.
Snake leans closer, his one good eye narrowing.
SNAKE
That’s the problem, isn’t it? You’re not afraid of losing to Putin. You’re afraid of what happens when a woman takes real power. History changes. Old games end.
(He pushes the queen forward, toppling both Trump’s knight and Zelensky’s rook.)
SNAKE (CONT’D)
You keep playing checkers while the future plays chess.