Italy recorded a government debt equivalent to 132.60 percent of the country’s
Gross Domestic Product in 2016.

(INT. A MODEST, SUNLIT OFFICE IN THE VATICAN – DAY)

YOUNG POPE JOEY JUCO, in his simple white cassock, leans back in a chair that’s seen better popes. Across from him, MICHAEL FRANZESE, ex-mob captain turned motivational speaker, looks equal parts amused and concerned.

MICHAEL
Siege, Your Holiness? The Marciano and Valente families? That’s… heavy. They don’t play. A haunted house on 322nd Street isn’t exactly canonical territory. Why not just… let it go? Sell it. Walk away.

POPPE JOEY
(A serene, almost mischievous smile)
Michael, Michael. To walk away is to admit the haunt is real. To sell is to let their shadow-market economics win. They want to lay siege? To spook me into a rash act? They want me to burn it down for the insurance, to get entangled in their world of arson and paper trails.

MICHAEL
(Nods slowly, seeing the logic)
A controlled demolition. Cleaner. No accelerants, no accidental witnesses in the flames.

POPPE JOEY
(Eyes twinkling)
Exactly. But not some anonymous wrecking ball from a sterile corporation. No.

He leans forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

POPPE JOEY
I’m gonna send the Miley Cyrus wrecking ball.

Michael blinks, processing. A slow grin spreads across his face.

MICHAEL
You’re not just knocking down a building. You’re making a spectacle. A statement.

POPPE JOEY
(Spreads his hands)
A papal bull of a different sort! Think about it. The ball swings in, all chrome and chain, with her song blaring from construction speakers. It’s a performance. A demolition as exorcism. The Marcianos and Valentes… they operate in the dark, in whispers, in fear. They don’t know what to do with a global pop culture spectacle beamed to every phone in the five boroughs. Their siege gets drowned out by the bass line.

MICHAEL
(Chuckles, shaking his head)
You’re using a Miley Cyrus song as a tactical weapon against two crime families. The old bosses are spinning in their concrete shoes.

POPPE JOEY
Let them spin. I won’t fight their fire with my fire. I’ll fight their haunted house with… a wrecking ball. It comes in swinging, loud, undeniable. It demolishes the problem, leaves a clean lot, and the whole world just sees a crazy viral stunt. Not a pope caving to mob pressure. A pope… hosting a demolition derby.

Michael leans back, impressed.

MICHAEL
It’s brilliant. And insane. But mostly brilliant. You remove their leverage, publicly humiliate their threat by treating it as a party, and you don’t get a single speck of soot on your white cassock.

POPPE JOEY
(Stands, looking out the window)
Sometimes, Michael, to defeat a ghost, you don’t need a priest. You just need a really good soundtrack and the right swing. Let them watch their haunted house turn to dust to the tune of a power ballad. They’ll never know what hit them.

FADE OUT.